I was sitting quietly on our balcony on Ventura heading up the side of Portugal towards the end of our cruise when the following  message appeared on the screen.  

“Software Update: IOS 7 is now available for your iPad”.  

I now wish to have a conversation with my device.  However, Siri is not much use as it requires an internet connection and we are twenty miles from the coast.  

The conversation goes something like this.

Me: Yes, I know it’s available. I would normally have updated on the day it became available.  You really don’t now me as well as I thought.

iPad:  Would you like to update to IOS 7 now?

Me: Yes please.  How do you propose we do that?

iPad: No network is available.

Me: Yes, I know.  We are a long way from the nearest wifi connection and if you think I am paying the charges P&O want me to pay then you have another thing coming.

iPad:  Checking for a software update failed as you are not connected to the Internet

Me: I know.  Can I go back to reading my book now?

iPad: silence

Me: silence

We will be back home on Sunday.  I am sure I can contain myself until then.